As we accelerate towards christmas 2010 at a breakneck speed I look in the rear view mirror of life and mutter to myself, "Thank goodness that year is finally over".
In the space of 11 months I have been to three family funerals, the first, in March, being my Mums. I have been diagnosed with depression, high blood pressure, diabetes and asthma.
What the hell is happening to me? I am 46 years old and if I don't do something to change my life now I'll be lucky if I make 50.
I have been prescribed medication for my illnesses and take five tablets in the morning and another two at bed time. The blood pressure meds make my legs swell up, so I have to take diuretics. The diuretics make me constipated and I feel like I have been fingered by Freddy Kruger every time I take a dump. Either that or I have to drink so much water to compensate that I have to take a leak every five minutes (Day and Night).
After a recent bout of chronic Bronchitis I have developed asthma and have to use two lots of inhalers (puffers).
I have been seeing a cognitive behavioural therapist for the last six months about my depression (The black dog) and have learned to ask myself 'What do I really want?' and set myself achievable goals, small steps, to achieve them.
The main thing that I could think of that had a common point was my beefy, blimpy, bulky, burly, elephantine, fat, fleshy, gross, heavy, hefty, large, lusty, obese, overblown, overweight, plump, portly, roly-poly, rotund, stout, tubby, weighty, well padded BODY!!! The cause of all my ills. I am committed to doing something about it.
For the last 28 years I have lived a life of exuberance. Drink, drugs, food, bed. All taken to excess until now it has seriously affected my health.
So 'What do I want to do?' Loose weight.
'How am I going to do it?' Eat less and exercise more.
'What excusess do I usually come up with to put a spanner in the works?' I'm too fat, people will laugh at me in the gym; The gym is too far away; The weather is too bad (I can't possibly exercise in the rain, I'll catch my death); I am too tired; I am too depressed.
'What can I do/Think/Say to counter those arguments?' There are a lot of people fatter than me at the gym/ in the park who are exercising nobody is laughing at them; Go to a gym closer to home; The weather doesn't matter, you'll be inside in the warm; exercise helps to give you more energy when lethargic and sleep better when you go to bed; Exercise releases positive endorphins into your brain and makes you feel happier.
If you loose weight your blood pressure will normalise, your blood sugar will normalise, your asthma may decrease, you will feel better about your body image, your self confidence will improve, you will be irresistible to women. Allright lets not get too carried away.
'What small steps do I need to make to get going with my plan?' Find a gym close to home; Go to the gym and find out prices, times etc; Join gym; Arrange an induction course; Go to gym regularly and work out.
I have accomplished all of the above.
At the induction course I expected to be shown how all the different types of equipment are supposed to be used. Instead of that some guy took my BP and pulse rate (68b/min resting) then asked me about the meds I was on, what I eat for breakfast, lunch and dinner and then proceeded to lecture me about how I must change my life-style or I'll have a stroke in the next four years or so.
I thought "No shit Sherlock what the hell do you think I am doing here".
I must admit that I was getting quite pissed off. He continued telling me in not a very technical or eloquent way how my various 'Systems' were being affected. Heart, breathing, digestive etc. "Goddamn retard" I thought, what cereal box did you get your so called 'Instructor' qualifications from.
I told him I knew all the theory about nutrition and exercise etc I just lacked the drive and motivation to do it. Anyway, he says I only need to do 45 mins of cardio three times a week and he was going to show me how to use the treadmill. What about the cross trainer?, the exercise bikes?, the weights etc? I asked.
"You don't need to use those" he said.
"What a cock", I thought. How can he seriously pretend to be a gym instructor.
However as we continued talking and he explained that as I hadn't exercised for so long and was so out of shape I should start gently and concentrate on losing weight and increasing my fitness levels before throwing myself in headlong and then quickly getting pissed off with it all or doing myself an injury.
"Ok", I thought, I'll give the bloke the benefit of the doubt and just do cardio and swimming for the first couple of months.
I did 30 mins on the treadmill (incline +2, speed 5km/min) and 15mins on the cross trainer (Av HR 130b/min). The treadmill was easy but the cross trainer was hard, I was glad when that was over. When I had finished my legs felt all wobbly, I was sweaty and breathing hard. I carefully walked back down the stairs to the locker room. The locker room is really nice. All wooden lockers that give you your £1 back when you return the key. I didn't use the shower I had one when I came home.
That was in November. Since then I have been to the gym every day except Thursday when I walked/jogged around the local park.
I'll use this blog to keep track of my progress.
When I started I weighed 121 kg's / 266 lb's / 19 Stones. At present I weigh 104.8 kg's / 231 lb.'s / 16.5 Stones.
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